Ten Things to Like about Twitter

It's been so long since I started making this list of 10 Things to Like about Twitter, I forgot to list them all in one top ten list. But to call this a top ten is a misnomer. It's hardly the definitive 10 best things about Twitter. I haven't even touched on the commercial possibilities Twitter presents, the potential for social change, or anything all that much bigger than my own private Twittersphere.

That's the point, really. This is my list. These are 10 things you should like because I like them. If you're an experienced tweetist, you may hate some of them. If you're new to Twitter . . . you might hate some of them. But I like 'em. Humor me.

I guess I should also preface this with a brief tutorial. If you want to partake in the Twitterfest, it's really not hard, far simpler than Facebook or just about anything else you could do online. Twitter is a place (or a method) for updating and getting updates on anything or anyone. To get started, just go to Twitter.com, browse, sign up, go to my page, and click "Follow." Alright, this is a long preface. Here's the 10 Things I Like about Twitter:

10. Trends. When a topic gets tweeted a lot, the keywords show up at various places on Twitter (the home page, the sidebar). You can find out what people are talking about almost as soon as they start talking about them.

9. Hashtags. That's Twitterese for putting a # in front of your update's (or tweet's) keyword, so you can easily find tweets about the same thing. It's more useful (and less confusing) than it sounds.

8. No Commitment. You don't have to read everything your friends, followers, or followees post. You don't have to join groups, causes, or drawn-out comment threads. It's light, casual . . . we're just friends with twitterfits. That was terrible.

7. The Return of Editing. You only have 140 characters, and everybody can read it. You best clean up your spelling and grammar, there, kid.

6. Twt.fm. And other easily postable links to the music of the moment. If a song is stuck in your head, why shouldn't you lure some unsuspecting soul to wallow/revel in it.

5. No Computer Necessary. Most Internet experiences get a serious downgrade when you switch to mobile. Twitter was made for mobile. You don't have to live like a nerd to get your geek on.

4. Anyone Can Do It. Kelso from That 70's Show is the Twitter king. If you can't at least get started . . . okay, there's no then statement. You can at least get started.

3. We, Not They. Twitter users determine what reigns on Twitter. Not The Media. Not The Government. Not The Corporate World. It's ours, people. We have no one to blame but us.

2. Conversation. I like to think Twitter is just one big conversation. It's in the moment. Blogging is more of a journal for posterity. Twitter doesn't wait around that long. Twitter is now. Twitter is a party to which everyone is invited, everyone can hear (almost) everything anyone is saying, and it's real easy to sneak away.

1. Words. In a world of video, images, CGI wizardry, Twitter is governed by the almighty word. Thank God.

Top Ten Additional Songs To Sing Along In The Car With (Even If I Can't Hit All the Notes)

10. "Carolina in My Mind," James Taylor
9. "Friends in Low Places," Garth Brooks
8. "Rock and Roll," Led Zeppelin
7. "I Go Blind," Hootie and the Blowfish
6. "Yellow Ledbetter," Pearl Jam
5. "Landslide," Fleetwood Mac
4. "Santeria," Sublime (although I like to substitute the lyrics, "I'm not Edgar Renteria. I don't like to play baseball . . ."
3. "Don't Let the Sun Go Down on Me," Elton John
2."Cult of Personality," Living Colour
1. "Need You Tonight," INXS

With these lists, there are no jokes. These songs come on in the car, watch out, I'm singin'. And no, I don't care if I hit the notes. I'm singin'. And I love it. I don't pretend I'm on American Idol. I don't care if my voice goes to pot. I only slightly mind if someone pulls up next to me in traffic. (And I could probably do 100 of these lists.)

Rock on.

Top Ten Songs to Sing Along with in the Car (even if I can't hit all the notes)

10. “Picture,” Kid Rock, Sheryl Crow
9. “Been Caught Stealing,” Jane’s Addiction
8. “Cracklin’ Rosie,” Neil Diamond
7. “Bright Lights,” Matchbox 20
6. “Man in the Mirror,” Michael Jackson
5. “A Long December,” Counting Crows
4. “Desperado,” Eagles
3. “It’s the End of the World as We Know It (and I Feel Fine),” R.E.M.
2. “Midnight Train to Georgia,” Gladys Knight and the Pips
1. “Mrs. Potter’s Lullaby,” Counting Crows

Top Ten Myths the Church Loves to Believe

10. Your personal level of righteousness is directly proportionate to how nicely you are dressed.
9. Punctuality is commanded in the Bible.
8. Heaven will be a democracy.
7. Satan was a musician.
6. Dissent is the same as dissension.
5. There are seven things that please the Lord: the habits of highly effective people.
4. Perfection is possible.
3. Righteousness is impossible.
2. If your theology is correct, it's okay to be a jerk.
1. Comfort is a virtue.

Bonus: Pastors should pee standing up.

Top Ten Signs You've Been Watching Too Much "Scrubs"

10. You start calling your 6 month old, "Newbie."
9. You can't stop singing the barbershop quartet harmonies to the Charles in Charge theme.
8. You tell your 4 year old to get back in his seat, stat.
7. You forget to tell your wife things you've already stated in your inner monologue.
6. Three of the top 10 Google results for "Scrubs" are links to your blog.
5. During sweeps months, actors from "Must See TV" shows make guest appearances in your dreams.
4. You lose sleep wondering what Janitor's real name is.
3. To discuss the birds and the bees, you employ the terms bajingo, delicates, and giblets.
2. You're wearing a WWJDD bracelet.
1. You have an on-again off-again relationship with your television.

After typing #1, I realized it was an almost universally true but nevertheless galactically corny joke. But it's just so corny, I can't find it in me to delete it.

Trivial Pursuits

I love trivia. I know I've loved it at least as long as the godfather of trivia board games, Trivial Pursuit, first made an appearance on the Kellogg dining room table. The funny thing about that particular game was we bought it as a gift for our friend-who-is-practically-family. And since she was and is practically family, we had no qualms about giving her game a permanent home in our game closet.

But, you see, this is the nature of my love affair with trivia. I love to remember all the little facts that shouldn't matter but do. I don't care as much about the year we first played Trivial Pursuit. I care about the fact that during said year we in effect bought someone else a Christmas present for ourselves, one that I enjoyed immensely for the better part of two decades. That's trivia at its best: Which member of the Kellogg family was the rightful owner of the Kellogg Trivial Pursuit game? Cynthia Sawyer.

Or last night, when we were watching The Bourne Ultimatum, and Heather was asking if I thought this CIA agent was really a bad guy, I said, "I don't know," but I was thinking, "No, he's not bad, he's Eddie Cicotte from Eight Men Out." It's not that I can't follow the plot, I'm just more into the sub-sub-subplots.

And that's why every day (every weekday) I send out a trivia question. It started out as a work email, but it expanded a little bit. Anyway, trivia is my other blog. Feel free to check it out.

Okay, I'll end with this, my Top Ten favorite questions from the original Trivial Pursuit, Genus Edition:

10. How long was the One Hundred Years War?

9. Who created Detective Mike Hammer?

8. What was Adolf Hitler's favorite movie?

7. What's the lowest hand that beats a straight?

6. Was Humpty Dumpty pushed?

5. Who married Miss Piggy?

4. How many stitches are in a baseball?

3. How many grooves are in a standard vinyl LP?

2. Who shot J.R.?

1. Who lost the Battle of the Sexes?

Top Ten Things That Disturb Me Out of My Gourd

10. White hot chemistry between Keira Knightley and James McAvoy
9. Botched plastic surgeries
8. The fame of Ryan Seacrest
7. Heated car seats
6. Ghostwriting
5. Those weird computer animated dancing characters that show up inexplicably in online ads for discount mortgages
4. Commercials for prostate medication
3. Bryant Gumbel
2. People who forgive themselves and no one else
1. Things designed to make public communal use seem less disgusting, like those paper toilet seat liners or the little sock footy things for trying on shoes at the store or sneeze guards at buffet lines or the rubber gloves the dentist wears or the paper they put down on the weird not a chair not yet a bed thing the doctor makes you sit on