Limerick Idol

Every Thursday I go bowling. I'm not very good, although I did bowl a 201 last night. But, for frame of reference, it was my best game ever by a lot. Since I bowl every Thursday, I always miss the American Idol results. I can't quit watching (and blogging about) American Idol, but I've always pretty much detested the results shows. I just want to know who won.

So every week I ask my twitter friends to DM me the results after the show is over. In return I offer eternal friendship, praise, devotion. This week the offer was a limerick for anyone who would let me know what happened. A bunch of people let me know what happened. Here are their limericks:

Emily (@ek_go on her birthday, no less)
There once was a girl on her birthday
Who wondered how much would her mirth weigh?
She put it on scales,
And it outweighed six whales,
So she partied like crazy 'til Earth Day

Justin (@bito31)
There once was an hombre named Justin.
For a World Series win, he was lustin'.
He couldn't quite quit it,
But if the Cubs ever did it,
Then his head just might end up combustin'.

Katy (@swedishpancake)
There once was a pancake from Sweden
That looked far too sweet to be eaten.
It was whipped up by fairies
With fresh lingonberries,
So save it for Katy or get beaten.

Amy (@AmyL36)
I wanted an update on Idol,
Because knowing who's booted is vital.
Amy graciously told
While I tweeted and bowled,
Hence this lim'rick to which she's entitled.

Anthony (@Tony2358)
In Brookfield there lives this dude Tony,
Who hates everyone with a pony.
It's a Seinfeld joke, get it?
If you don't, just forget it.
Do you smell what I'm cookin', Jabroni?

I was really running out of ideas near the end. I'm thankful for everyone's help, but I'm also pretty glad more people didn't take me up on the offer.

i want to write of nothing

I want to write of nothing I believe.
My mind erased, my heart no longer chained
To promise, all conclusions unconceived.
Let truth unbidden come through glass unstained.
I pray my tongue could unacquire the taste
Of love, of fury, deadness, pain, and joy.
Refresh my ignorance. Teach me to waste.
Sing gentle songs of grey to silent noise.
Inspire my words with nothing and I'll say
Exactly what I mean to you, sweet void.
My empty praise of emptiness will play
The part of meaning after I've destroyed
My memory. I'll write of this, the No.
No wrong. No doubt. . . . Then back to faith I go.

William Shatner Turns Palin into Poetry

I don't want to ruin this with a lot of talk, but I was wrong. This video will change your life. William Shatner reads Sarah Palin's resignation speech . . . to bongos. Live on Conan.