FTE

I was debating whether I should post the funniest thing ever.


Thus endeth the debate.

Idol Eyes Migraine Substitute

I can't do an Idol recap this week, at least not tonight. Computer screens + my eyes is a five-minutes at a time deal right now before it triggers a migraine and I get nauseous. If I'm watching Tim Urban sing while that happens, so help me, I will yak all over this keyboard.

In lieu of that, I'll give you this little episode from the Kellogg house tonight. Addison has been quoting Shel Silverstein poems lately; he just loves them. So tonight before bed he treated me to a recital of "Ridiculous Rose." Here goes:

RIDICULOUS ROSE

Her mama said, "Don't eat with your fingers!"

"Okay," said Ridiculous Rose.

So she ate with her toes.

And then he added, "What if her name was Ridiculous Rutt?" Peals. Of. Laughter. Mostly his, but I'm not made of steel, what am I supposed to say? That's not funny? 

Who's On First?

It's pretty sad that the only things motivating me to blog here are TV (Lost and Idol) and contests, so here's a real piece of family stuff. A week or two ago, Addison and I performed in his elementary school's talent show. It was a lot of fun, even the endless rehearsals of "Who's on First" to which we subjected ourselves.

The night of the performance I had been drumming into Addison's head that only I would have a microphone and that he'd need to project just like before—I would take care of the mic. Right before we went on, he was begging me to let him hold a mic, and I repeatedly told him no. Sure enough, right before we went on, he was handed a mic, and the rest was hilarity.

Since we've finished, Addison hasn't wanted to reproduce the whole routine, but anytime anyone says "I don't know," we'll both say, "Third base!" We'll do intentionally, too, with one or the other asking what the capital of some state or far-off country is. Colin's gotten into the act, too. Yesterday, he said, "What's the capital of . . . third base?"

What indeed, Colin. What indeed.

Classic SNL: Devil on People's Court

This is not new. It's irrelevant to everything happening in the world today. It is also hilarious and one of the few SNL bits in history that is truly funny from beginning to end. (Disclaimer: the views and opinions of the devil expressed herein are not espoused or supported by this blog or its authors.)

Spelling Bee: Numb What?

Yesterday Heather, Addison, and I were playing Cubs Monopoly and flipping between a repeat of last year's Scripps National Spelling Bee and Empire Strikes Back . . . pretty awesome, all the way around. But what kept us coming back to this year-old spell-off was the adorable and unintentionally hilarious eventual winner, Sameer Mishra.

As you'll see in this clip, he got a word that may have sounded a tad familiar, but not from any of his studying. As the crowd laughter indicates, he wasn't the only one who misheard the judge. It was, as far as I can remember from my extensive spelling bee viewing, the funniest moment in spelling bee history. Enjoy.

Priceless, no? My favorite was his commentary after the confusion was over: "That's a relief."

Yes, indeed, Sameer. A comic one.